Households that baffle me

Ready for another silly Zoe quirk?

If I go to a person’s home, ask for a Kleenex, and am given a piece of toilet tissue, I file that piece of information away. I remember that you do not keep tissues on hand.

If I stay over somewhere, am ill prepared, ask for a Q-tip, and you don’t have one? I find you seriously strange. This has happened to me. Your household goes into a special category in my mind. I remember Those Without Q-tips.

If I am at your place and am in dire need of a cotton ball and you do not have a single puff of cottony softness to your name, I will marginally understand, since not everyone uses them. But I will mask my facial response and not give in to the deep sigh I will want to heave.

I can not live without my cotton balls, Q-tips, and Kleenex. I just can’t. They are good for so many different things and I am never without. If, for some bizarre reason, I run out, it is on the High Priority list to get myself to the nearest drugstore or Target and stock up. Granted, it takes a year or two to go through an entire box of Q-tips. But when you’re Q-tipping with at least two people per box, the supply depletes at a quicker clip.

I keep my cotton balls and Q-tips (usually pink, purple, green or blue) in one of these. I literally have this exact thing at home, sitting on my dresser:

The holy grail cotton container.

Isn’t it pretty?

For those of you who don’t “get” what I’m saying here, then you should just move along. If you’ve survived this long without needing the touch, the feel of cotton…..[the fabric of our lives!] then my hat is off to you.

For the rest of us, we bow to the simplicity and unending delight of having little tufts of pillowy goodness laying around to help dab on creams/medicine, take off makeup, clean out our ears, and on and on and on. As for the Kleenex thing, no human never blows his or her nose, so I don’t know what your deal is if you just never have tissues and are okay with toilet paper. Facial tissue is the one thing that goes the fastest at any office and in some places, is hoarded. I speak from gritty experience.

When I travel, I keep a ziploc bag of cotton balls and Q-tips in my toiletry bag at all times. Talk about a vital necessity. I can’t risk going someplace and not having these with me. I don’t want to have to give someone my “You don’t have cotton balls or Q-tips?” face. The time you don’t have them on your person is the time you will remember that trip in infamy. Trust.

I think I’ve made my point. I probably could have just put the photo up above with “Got cotton?” and left it at that, but I am nothing if not a wordsmith.

Enjoy your day – and perhaps stock up on your favorite cotton products, as well.

May: the month of a gazillion birthdays

Well, we’re officially in one of my two favorite months of the year and so far, the first three days have been a doozy. Am I right or am I right or am I right?

I am getting close to knowing someone with a birthday on each and every day of this wonderful month. I don’t have children but if I ever get to that phase of my life, I’m going to wonder what is so special about the 9 months prior to May because it is baby and birthday explosion come May 1. I got my Facebook notification on Sunday night that told me I know six people on Facebook alone with birthdays in the first week.

My special day is 5-5, a very symmetrical birthday. I’m all about symmetry. Heck, this blog began on 8-8-08, incidentally. I have a cousin with my same birthday and I have met probably ten others who also share the May 5 birthday. Today is my dear friend Meg’s birthday and I know at least twelve more people with birthdays this month. I even know people with birthdays on the 6th, 7th, and 8th. It’s crazy!

Have I said the word  birthday enough?

May is the month of Taurus and Gemini. That’s right, I went there. I also am completely discounting the “new” astrology system because the 13th sign sounds ridiculous. I know it doesn’t change my sign because of the year but I still find it lame (as at least half the population does about astrology in general). I have a soft spot for astrology. I like figuring out which signs are supposed to be compatible with which and I have this book called The Secret Language of Birthdays which is a really cool personality profile based on everyone’s actual birth-day. Just saying, if you’re into this, this is a must-have book.

Aside from May being Birthday Month Extravaganza, it is also the month with Memorial Day and kicks off travel season. I am visiting a dear friend in Seattle for over five days at the end of the month and I am completely through and through stoked about it. I’ve only been to the Pacific Northwest once for vacation when I was a teenager and I was in Vancouver ten years ago but I have never explored the fine metropolis of Seattle. So Original Starbucks here I come!

I may not have mentioned my passion for coffee mugs, though I know I’ve talked about my being a coffee snob. I have an array of Starbucks mugs from various cities I’ve visited and I’m actually kind of excited to add to the collection. I had a fabulous mug from Paris from 2004 when I was there and it survived the trip back, and even many moves within New York City, but it was no match for Kevin, who accidentally broke it in my last New York apartment. I went to find a replacement and they were selling on eBay for like, $90 or something. C’est ridicule, ca! So yeah, that’s long gone. I’ll have to stick with Stateside mugs.* C’est la vie.

Any travel plans (or anything particularly exciting) this month? How many people do you know celebrating a May b-day?

*Edit: I received a replacement Paris mug that was, in fact, purchased for an obscene amount of money, and it happily sits in my kitchen cabinet with all of the other mugs I have amassed.