Households that baffle me

Ready for another silly Zoe quirk?

If I go to a person’s home, ask for a Kleenex, and am given a piece of toilet tissue, I file that piece of information away. I remember that you do not keep tissues on hand.

If I stay over somewhere, am ill prepared, ask for a Q-tip, and you don’t have one? I find you seriously strange. This has happened to me. Your household goes into a special category in my mind. I remember Those Without Q-tips.

If I am at your place and am in dire need of a cotton ball and you do not have a single puff of cottony softness to your name, I will marginally understand, since not everyone uses them. But I will mask my facial response and not give in to the deep sigh I will want to heave.

I can not live without my cotton balls, Q-tips, and Kleenex. I just can’t. They are good for so many different things and I am never without. If, for some bizarre reason, I run out, it is on the High Priority list to get myself to the nearest drugstore or Target and stock up. Granted, it takes a year or two to go through an entire box of Q-tips. But when you’re Q-tipping with at least two people per box, the supply depletes at a quicker clip.

I keep my cotton balls and Q-tips (usually pink, purple, green or blue) in one of these. I literally have this exact thing at home, sitting on my dresser:

The holy grail cotton container.

Isn’t it pretty?

For those of you who don’t “get” what I’m saying here, then you should just move along. If you’ve survived this long without needing the touch, the feel of cotton…..[the fabric of our lives!] then my hat is off to you.

For the rest of us, we bow to the simplicity and unending delight of having little tufts of pillowy goodness laying around to help dab on creams/medicine, take off makeup, clean out our ears, and on and on and on. As for the Kleenex thing, no human never blows his or her nose, so I don’t know what your deal is if you just never have tissues and are okay with toilet paper. Facial tissue is the one thing that goes the fastest at any office and in some places, is hoarded. I speak from gritty experience.

When I travel, I keep a ziploc bag of cotton balls and Q-tips in my toiletry bag at all times. Talk about a vital necessity. I can’t risk going someplace and not having these with me. I don’t want to have to give someone my “You don’t have cotton balls or Q-tips?” face. The time you don’t have them on your person is the time you will remember that trip in infamy. Trust.

I think I’ve made my point. I probably could have just put the photo up above with “Got cotton?” and left it at that, but I am nothing if not a wordsmith.

Enjoy your day – and perhaps stock up on your favorite cotton products, as well.


  1. Kevin Schneider says:

    I’m with you on Q-tips but not with cotton balls. I don’t think I’ve used a cotton ball in my life when I wasn’t using it for an art project. Tissues – if it’s not sandpapery toilet paper, I’m fine.

  2. Zoe … I am beginning to think that you are seriously strange and quiirky but in a lovely way so you score 10 out of 10.
    I feel I should be strangely disturbed by what you say but I am not and here is the reason why … go on to my website which is & look at the very latest entry … taming the asteroid. I think the world needs us both.
    Q-tips ? Kleenex ?
    A guy went into a pub near where I live and asked for a lager and lime. The barman said … sorry,we don’t serve cocktails.
    How can you tell when a Viking’s been in the bar ? Axe marks in the dart board.

  3. Chris, you’re a man so your need for these cotton products is probably greatly lesser than mine. I’m a girly girl and women use these things in many other ways than men do (mostly for makeup and its removal). I have to admit, I didn’t quite understand the taming of the asteroid piece but as you said, the world needs us both. 🙂

    I got the second of your jokes but not the first. Does a lime added to a lager or beer thus render it a cocktail?

    • I’m not sure I quite understood the asteroid piece myself but it felt like writing itself … so who am I to stand in its way. Some pieces work and some don’t I guess.
      OK … the cocktail. Lager and a dash of lime isn’t exactly a cocktail. I used to run a pub in a pretty rough part of Glasgow where a lager (with a dash of lime juice) wasn’t a drink that that many people ordered. In most more slightly up market pubs lager and lime would be a very popular drink. So some
      publicans might well jokingly regard it as a cocktail.
      My apologies for going off topic Zoe. Can someone pass me a Kleenex please.

  4. Hahahaha it’s okay, it’s nice to have comments on my blog, regardless! Thanks for the explanation. (For the record, Corona beer here is regarded as really good with lime. I tend to agree but I love lime.)

  5. I know a couple who deliberately only has toilet paper, never kleenex. The woman carries a roll in her purse. It cracks me up and disturbs me.

  6. haha, first time reading your blog, I could see the look on your face like I was looking into the mirror. I am especially horrified to be given toilet paper instead of tissue. And I do think the home owners/occupants are from a nother planet. And I’m assuming they think I’m posh.

  7. Welcome! Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment. Hope you find more posts that you enjoy! I’ve gotten some interesting feedback on this particular post haha.

  8. Fight Like A Girl says:

    This makes me giggle. On a completely unrelated note, I file those who don’t drink Diet Coke away in a special file. That way I can remember to stock up when I’m with them or make a special note to introduce them to the amazing-ness that is DC! They also receive my ‘You don’t drink Diet Coke’ look, when they innocently tell me they’d prefer Coke Zero or (Lord forbid) regular Coca-Cola!

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