I live with a warlock. Who cooks.

After a long day at work, I came home to an incredible aroma seeping from every nook and cranny of the house. (And we have a lot of nooks and crannies. It’s an old house.) Before I had even pushed open the front door, I could smell something delicious emanating from my home.

I followed the scent into the kitchen and saw this, bubbling on the stove:

Mystery stew?

What IS that?

How could something so….gray looking…smell so delicious? Also, has it escaped anyone’s notice that it’s simmering in a cauldron? It looks like it belongs over a witch’s fireplace.

(Or warlock’s, since the person cooking it is a man.)

The difference being the ugly creature who needs dental work, I half expected to see Kevin standing over the stove stirring this stuff with a stick.

He reassured me that I would like it and that, in fact, it was red beans and rice! I adore red beans and rice but I couldn’t recall from memory that it looked like that as it boiled down. This is Alton Brown’s recipe, specifically. Click on that link to try it yourself.

In actuality, our dinner was being cooked in a cast iron pot, which is a favorite of many cooks alike.

Side note: I know how much this sweet guy of mine wanted to stay true to the flavors required in the recipe because he added a celery stalk to the brew while it simmered. Celery is on his Top Five Foods [He] Won’t Eat so I was very taken aback. I really do think it makes a difference in dishes like this, too.

Touched beyond belief and keeping the faith it was going to come out tasty, I made a big pot of rice and shortly thereafter, dinner was served. Here’s the final presentation:


It’s hard to believe it went from that mystery goulash to these delicious, savory, bursting-with-flavor chunks. (This has pork in it, for those who are wondering if it is vegetarian.)

Lastly, I whipped out an extra secret ingredient to put on top:

This makes all dishes sing.

If your read beans and rice aren’t already quite peppery or if you really enjoy a bit of a kick with your meals, this mild jalapeno sauce from Tabasco is insanely delicious. One of the best things I like about the chain Chipotle is that they stock it in their restaurants when you dine in. We honestly go through about one small bottle a month of this stuff.

Do you like red beans and rice? Do you have any “secret ingredients?” Let a warlock’s girlfriend know!


  1. Kevin Schneider says:

    Why I happen to LOVE red beans and rice, and it’s something that I had for the first time when I was with you!

  2. i’ve never had it, but i have to admit that even as a vegetarian i think that dish looks so delicious

  3. Kevin Schneider says:

    I think you can do a vegetarian version. Not sure how you’d get the pickled pork flavor, though.

  4. speaking of celery, i know someone who makes a cream of celery soup. and i can’t help but wonder, how do you make a soup out of absolute nothingness? celery is vapid.

  5. Haha! There are many who would agree with you, D-train. I know Kevin sure would. I think it adds flavor and crunch to certain dishes but yeah, not so much on the soup. Great point.

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