An Unsung Hero

Still glowing from all the buzz surrounding this wee blog yesterday, I came up with several ideas of what to write for the next post. Obviously quality is important but I also wanted to be sure to keep the process going.

Coming up with constant relevant articles is no easy task, which is why there are people who are paid to do that. Since I am paycheck free to write this blog and I can write whatever I damn well please, I decided to post a product review. It certainly won’t apply to everyone and I wondered whether there are people who had even heard of this product. One never knows with these things.

But as my “A Little Extra on the Author” page describes, I am a girly girl and from time to time I am going to write about girly stuff. This is one of those times.

<Insert image of a conductor tapping his baton on the podium.>

For those of us whom God gifted with oily skin, we have to arm ourselves as best we can against our pores’ daily proclivity to re-enact the BP Oil Disaster.*

Disgusted and frustrated as a teenager with my skin veritably oozing, I was so relieved to discover a product that helped me out with this problem. It has resurrected itself in my late 20s and I have found no other product remotely competitive. Are you ready for this? It is Clean & Clear’s Oil Absorbing Sheets (Johnson & Johnson).

These little babies touch down to the surface oil on your skin and if you listen really closely, you can almost hear a faint sucking noise as they soak up all that sebum. I know, isn’t sebum such a gross-sounding word? Nasty.

When I was a teenager, I would go through three or four in one sitting mid-day. As I’ve gotten older, I have noticed that with my hormones not-as-raging as they once were, I do not have to worry about as much shine on my face as four oil-absorbing sheets’ worth. Nonetheless, I still have to use them or I could have some kind of accident where I touch my face and my hand slips and goes careening off, causing me to lose my balance and my chin to hit whatever surface may be nearby. Hey, it could happen.

If you generally keep a firm hold on your purse strings, fear not: these are not super expensive. On the other hand, if you’re like me and you have to have them, the fact that they cost about $6 for 50 little sheets seems almost like a slap in the face. Yet I can not stress how much better your face feels after you have pressed one or two of these pale blue babies to it when you need them most. Doesn’t matter if you wear makeup or not – they can help out any person in need.

Ladies, your makeup stays in place and your pores can breathe again. You’re not throwing the equivalent of kitty litter onto an icy sidewalk here – it’s an actual solution. Dudes, if you have a sexy high forehead that gleams under indoor lighting as if a searchlight is pinned to your face, you’ll need these for your next Big Meeting. Relax, the packet is super slim and will fit in any one of your pockets.

Blotting one’s face has never been more enjoyable. I know it’s strange at first to press this cute, teensy, flimsy piece of tissue to your eyes, cheeks, forehead and anywhere else that gets greasy. Actually — are they tissues? The substance is unto itself. I really have no idea what they’re made of. Let’s just hope the FDA didn’t have to approve them. They’re miracles, that’s what they are.

Anyhow, the best part about these cute little guys is that they show you how much oil is being absorbed because the sheet turns transparent. You read that right. The same way one blots a piece of pepperoni pizza with a paper towel, the sheets slowly go from blue to clear as the oil is absorbed, so you can really maximize the sheet. Once these have sponged up the T-zone, your face feels smooth and soft again, as if you just washed it. Or in my case, as if I just finished putting my makeup on.

Being the amateur photographer that I am, I took some photos of the product and what they look like when used. See below. Note: I try to wear SPF everyday, like the good little fair-skinned woman that I am. However, it can cause my skin to be extra… moisturized, if you will. That is why there are two sheets shown in one of the photos. It was one of those days.

Granted, this isn’t the sexiest post I’ll ever write, but damn it if it isn’t helpful. I know I’m no Michelle Phan but I am here to give the full-on Zoe Recommends Seal of Approval. I have tried other products that are versions of these and none compare. Try ’em for yourself!

*I donated money to aid in the cleanup from the oil spill so I am not actually glib about the incident. Just wanted to clear that up. It would have been cool, though, if there had existed one giant Oil Absorbing Sheet that could have been dropped onto the surface of the Gulf.


  1. Ashley (Kuntz) Becker says:

    Zoe I love those things! Cannot live without them. The first time Dan saw me using one, he was like “What are you doing?!?” It was so funny!

    All this time, I thought I was the only one in the bathroom at work on my lunch break using them… 🙂 Glad to know I am not alone in my love for that product!

    Great work on your blog! Congrats on being “featured.” I have always enjoyed your sense of humor and am glad that you are sharing your wit with the masses!

  2. You use them in the bathroom? I actually sit at my desk at the front of the office and blot away. Ha! There’s no one else around, though, and I’d definitely feel weird doing it in front of others.

    Thanks for reading the blog – I hope I can keep this momentum going 🙂

  3. I first learned of these in high school from two friends (sisters) who are Chinese. I had never seen anything like them. They weren’t commercially made by J&J, though. They were from Chinatown. I would imagine they’re much cheaper there. I always forget to go and get them. They have an ever so slight powder – EVER so slight – on them. I was SHOCKED at how well they worked, but even more so, at how much came off my face. Being a greasy guinea myself and sebumalicious, they should be something that is a staple within my murse. This may just make me remember to travel down to Chinatown (ok, maybe – just the thought of going there gives me angst, but I digress…) and get me some of the cheapy ancient aw-wee-ent-ew see-kwet pwoducts.

  4. Kevin immediately found a deal on Amazon that came out to the equivalent of Buy 3, Get 1 Free. I don’t need that many at once, though!

    Yes, definitely keep them in your murse haha.


  1. […] it negates the lightweight feel and I’m back at square one sopping at my face with Clean & Clear Oil-Absorbing Sheets multiple times a day. Lancôme is okay but very pricey; the scent is nice, albeit a little strong, […]

  2. […] then, the types of products I purchased were Clearasil, Clean & Clear anything, foul-smelling Noxzema, and Oxy Pads. I never assumed they wouldn’t work exactly as […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: