Baker’s Dozen: We Know It’s the Holiday Season Because…

1. The day after Halloween, instead of everything being about Thanksgiving, every store went right to Christmas. November is now officially Christmas Part I. Or, Christmas: The Prequel.

2. Despite the warm spell hitting the middle of America currently, Christmas tree lots are sprouting up in a Store Parking Lot Near You.

3. Radio stations have already dedicated certain hours to solely playing Christmas/holiday music.

a) Stores start playing Christmas Muzak exclusively. I have it from a very good source that stores like Sephora were playing Christmas music even before Halloween and that she saw her first holiday ad on October 31.

4. The sheer bulk of our mail has tripled, with stores now advertising TWO Black Fridays or two days equivalent to Black Friday. Plasma TVs for $.49 and other nonsense.

5. Houses and small local businesses start decking out their exteriors with Christmas lights by November 2. These are the same people/establishments who will not take these down until March 3 or Easter.

a) You see ornaments for outrageous prices. I love Hallmark, being the card obsessed woman I am, but their Keepsake Ornament prices simply stagger me.

6. Large department stores put giant bows and wreaths on the outside of their buildings, making them look like it’s one giant gift box.

7. Every major website is adorned with the same type of advertising and promotions as physical stores. Sites like eBay have a counter that tells you how many shopping days are left, giving you that nice pre-holiday ulcer.

a) If you are an email subscriber to anything, you will be receiving early yuletide “secret sale” emails. “HURRY!” they shout.

b) Shipping prices have been slashed to either one dollar, one cent, or free.

8. Folks at work begin surreptitiously using all their free time to shop online. Postal workers, UPS men and the FedEx guy all start looking stressed when they enter places of business. The front area of every office looks like this:

These were all just for me today. Seriously.

9. Food, if it’s not already a constant in your workplace, begins multiplying as if we’re all going to hibernate the day after Christmas. (If only.) Bowls of chocolate, tins of popcorn, plates of cookies, pie, and any other type of holiday confection are all available 10 hours a day, five days a week. Add to this that emails begin circulating about holiday food gatherings.

10. Every single eatery, without exception, releases their holiday packaging. McDonald’s bags are decorated with golden snowflakes, Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts will have their new festive holiday cups which contain their Christmas/holiday/yuletide coffee potions drenched in syrups, sprinkles, whipped cream and gooey toppings. Even gas stations have holiday packaging. You can buy a person a gift card to a gas station.

11. Your local and national news coverage, both on television and online, will dedicate (exponentially) segments/articles each week to saving money on travel, avoiding spending pitfalls, losing that holiday weight before it happens, circumventing travel nightmares, and promoting any human interest story that will get a tear or a dollar out of you. It’s already happening. (If you click on that travel link, you’ll see that the date of that article is September 20.)

12. Speaking of dollars…Salvation Army bell ringers line the street corners, clanging their bells incessantly while you try to maneuver the mobs and throngs of people all trying to get into the same stores as you are (mostly to escape the clanging bells).

13. All of the major networks come out with promos that are embedded with jingle bells, singing, etc. Channels like Hallmark, Lifetime and WE advertise their annual holiday made-for-television movie involving people being separated for Christmas and a person or animal joins them together, showing them the true meaning of the holiday spirit. While the movies tell you not to place such high importance on ribbons, tags, boxes or bags, the advertisements tell you that the ONLY things you should be worried about are when you buy your gifts and their accompanying, ribbons, tags, boxes and bags. HURRY UP, ALREADY!

a) Holiday specials now air in November. Check it.

These are only the thirteen that I could come up with and it’s November 15. If you buy into all the hype, you’re rushing off to start making those lists and checking them twice!

Author’s Note: Me, I love Christmas. Love, love, love it. I started listening to my Christmas music over the weekend. It was inspired by the fact that according to the stores and Everywhere in the United States, I should be fully immersed in the Christmas season already. So I thought, screw it, and the lilting voices of Bing and Nat and Perry and Johnny and all the rest of them filled my living room.

Advertisements

Comments

  1. Soon there will be no such thing as Christmas. It will be a year long event. They push back further and further each year that eventually, they’re going to meet each other – one year behind – like some sort of whacky sci-fi thing. Ya know…kinda like how Jesus moved the rock. No one saw it happen, but they all claim they saw the result. At least all the LP (that’s little people for y’all who ain’t in the know) should lower the unemployment rate for a few months. Good for them. They deserve a little cheer, too, don’t they? I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore. Have you even read this far? Is it Christmas yet? Ok, just Friday. I’ll take Friday.

  2. Kevin Schneider says:

    My only concern about this blog post is that there are not enough references to “A Charlie Brown Christmas.”

    Otherwise, awesomeness. I’m so looking forward to spending another Christmas with you! That’s two in a row, baby!

  3. I’ve noticed Christmas lights springing up so early this year — I think it’s a sign of the economy: People are out of work, so they’re decorating their homes.

    And I say, good for them — and for us. We can all enjoy the Christmas spirit a little longer this year.

    Now back to online shopping… πŸ˜‰

  4. Don’t forget the Christmas flavored coffees & milkshakes (eggnogg & nutmeg is a personal favorite) that appear at this time of year at the coffee houses and fast food restaurants…

    Another sign of the apocalypse.

    Cheers!

    http://yourlifesentence.wordpress.com/

  5. great list. everything is so true. after reading this i am finally in the holiday mood. thanks! haha great read

    http://enjoibeing.wordpress.com/

  6. Sigh. I know people hate all the Christmas stuff coming out early, but I love it. I could use a little cheer in my life!!

    -Lucky

  7. Let’s not forget Christmas carols playing in the shopping mall.

    Then again, I heard them ever BEFORE Halloween:

    http://paulbeforeswine.wordpress.com/2010/11/01/do-you-hear-what-i-hear/

  8. very good if you visit my blog back and make comments, whatever because it is very useful for me

  9. I personally think it could have discussed “A christmas story” once or twice.. “You’ll shoot your eye out!”

  10. Christmas has already been on my mind! But I’m trying to keep it in the back of my until after Thanksgiving! πŸ˜‰

  11. You’ve got this down. I am resorting to earbuds & MP3 this year to drown out the Christmas music. I don’t want to hear it until we’re into December. And the food. I fear it every year. I’m going to be strong this year. Maybe? Congrats on FP.

  12. Food changes, not only in your office, in the store, in the restaurant – everything is Christmas/Winter-special and smells like cinnamon. Even scented candles have cinnamon-, cookie- or apple-cinnamon smell… Which I actually like, so Merry Christmas πŸ˜‰

  13. wow

  14. Love listening to Bing for the holidays.
    Your article is funny, but true. Seems like Thanksgiving is becoming the black sheep of the holidays. Poor turkeys; getting killed for nothing =(
    Kudos on being Freshly Pressed!

    • I am in AWE that I made it only Freshly Pressed. I check my stats regularly and was shocked to see so many new readers and faces! Thank you all for the wonderful responses! I’m glad I’m not the only Christmas-lover out there who is still shocked about how early the season is upon us!

  15. I can’t tell you how happy I am to read this blog. I ALSO noticed that Christmas got started suspiciously early this year! And to make matters worse, I participated!

    I was at Hallmark the other day buying a hilarious birthday card (I too love cards) and found myself asking the sales person where their Christmas stationary was. (And what the hell is Christmas stationary?!) Am I for real?! It’s in a million days. I was embarrassed leaving since they “hadn’t gotten it in yet”. I paid forward the nagging early Christmas to the poor employees of Hallmark.

    In reference to your #3, we have a station here in Salt Lake City that plays continuous Christmas music starting Nov. 1. Yep. Nothing else, just Christmas.

    I like to celebrate the Holidays AFTER I have binged on stuffing and awkward family moments, not before.

    Funny blog. Love it.
    -Bianca and the Girls with Prius Envy

  16. ambro wright says:

    I gave into the pressure also…spent $40 on itunes the other day on a brand new Christmas playlist, began my online shopping, and even wrapped 7 presents last night (while listening to my Holiday playlist). If you can’t beat them….

  17. And people like me start writing holiday themed short stories!

    Actually I wrote ‘Bite Deep’ some years ago, and it’s a very different take on both Christmas and vampires, so I can’t (and don’t) claim that it’s a Christmas story. My latest story was written specifically because my publisher wanted holiday stories and steampunk stories, so I combined the two and wrote a holiday steampunk story, modelled somewhat on the great Rankin-Bass specials.

    I’ve seen all these things already, around here. It’s pretty depressing, especially when so many ads begin with ‘Save more…’ There’s a local radio station that waits until Thanksgiving to start with the music, but then it’s 24/7, and most of the songs they play suck. You get tired of even the good ones after the 20th repetition, too.

    Marc Vun Kannon
    http://authorguy.wordpress.com

  18. “…giving you that nice pre-holiday ulcer.” Great line. And true.

    Enjoyed your list, even though I don’t enjoy Christmas being crammed down my throat in October. Of course, my parents have kept their artificial Christmas tree up, year-round, going on seven years, so that might explain some of the bitter taste.

    Congrats on Pressed and thanks for the laugh.

    Chase McFadden

    http://SomeSpeciesEatTheirYoung.com

  19. Ahh! Another Johnny Mathis lover! I thought I was alone in the world, but nay! I, too, have begun to get ready for the holidays. I’ve long fought with myself over when the appropriate arrives for the world to start decorating. I saw furnished Christmas trees up in October at Wegman’s! Now, THAT’S a bit too early, especially when Halloween candy displays are sitting next to it. But, I think I can safely now begin to get out the mistletoe and twinkly lights without any hesitation. I welcome Christmas: The Prequel with open arms!

    • LOVE Wegman’s! I went to the University of Rochester and I just said to my friend the other day that I dearly miss that store. They know how to do up a holiday. Enjoy the twinkle lights!

  20. I’m a Christmas girl as well. Nice post.

    Blessings.

    Ava
    xox

  21. Oh, please, this has been a thorn in my side for years! I loathe the holidays now. From Halloween to New Years I just cringe at the thought of what I have to do. I griped about a couple of them on my blog recently, so your post made me laugh.

    It’s not officially the “holiday season” until you’ve seen your first Christmas commercial….which was about 3 weeks ago!

  22. I hate the way the seasons are rushed. I fully expect to see Valentine’s candy in the store in the next 2 weeks.

    Congrats on being FP!

  23. I’m just upset that I did not get my x-mas lights up before the weather turned colder. Great post and congrats on being freshly pressed. I need to leave to get that eggnog shake.

  24. I think the recession has given retailers an opportunity to redouble their holiday efforts earlier, leapfrogging over the less profitable Thanksgiving day holiday. For those like me for whom Christmas is THE holiday of the year, it’s great fun to have a lot more sales for a longer time period. But that aside, even I can see that there is something very wrong in us, as a society, passively allowing the erosion of the season of Thanksgiving. I’m guessing that it will be more effective for me to complain with my pocketbook than with a comment. Thanks for making me think about it.

  25. I like that …November , the Christmas Prequel.

  26. thank goodness for halloween, otherwise this crap would start at the beginning of the school year.
    http://dearexgirlfriend.com/

  27. “Christmas: The Prequel.”

    Ha- it’s true!

  28. Livy Parker says:

    It makes me sad; xmas time used to be special, but now, it’s everything but.

    sigh 😦

  29. I like #9. Why is the season an excuse for excessive food consumption?

  30. My neighbor started putting decorations out in October smh I always feel so behind

  31. Steven Harris says:

    MAy I be the first to wish you a very happy Easter.

  32. This seriously brings me down. As Charlie Brown complained, the spirit of Christmas is all about the commercialism. But I guess we bring it on ourselves.
    http://www.denwrites.com

  33. Loved your blog. Congrats on being ‘freshly pressed’. as Scott said…. sometime in the future we will have a back to back Xmas. We have the same thing in the UK and in SA (I remember that from when I lived there).
    I too love Xmas and enjoy all the sparkle and decorations…..what I do not enjoy are the endless stream of songs and used to love Jingle bells when I was a kid…… I find it a bit of a shame that the whole process is started so early! Thankfully I am totally immune to the online shopping thing.
    Wishing you a great festive season and a happy Xmas from London.
    Cindy
    @notjustagranny

  34. maryjane47 says:

    Couple of years ago, the middle-of-the-road radio station I listened to in the car (45 minutes each way, 5 days a week!) started playing Christmas music 24×7. The week before Thanksgiving.

    Zap! Went the ‘search’ function and I ended up on the local NPR all-classical music station. Haven’t moved from there since!

    Great list!

  35. To those who have read, commented AND congratulated: thank you so much! It’s the blogging milestone I have needed. I feel like Tiny Tim when he realizes he isn’t going to die because Scrooge brings him a ham. Or something.

  36. This list is both awesome and terrifying. My physical therapist canceled one of my appointments in mid-October so she could start Christmas decorating….that’s when I knew it had officially become out of control.

    My friend JT and I were walking around the mall last week, and were horrified to see that Christmas decorations were already up, beaming, and bright. We were then barraged by every person who thought we were a couple shopping for gifts. It got to a point where we started running from people. Gah!

    I do like making pretty ribbons on presents though, even if no one keeps them. πŸ™‚

  37. Eric Castelli says:

    We are looking for great blogs and we would love it if you registered yours with us.

    PostZoom is a directory of the best blog posts which helps readers find great blog posts and our goal is to help blog owners drive more traffic to their blog.

    If you are interested in joining, please check us out!

    Thanks,
    Eric Castelli
    PostZoom

  38. Love it! The holiday is my favorite! I refuse to decorate until the weekend after Thanksgiving but then it takes me three days to get it done!
    Our family is really cutting back on the gifts this year though! Kids are grown and so the need to fill the underside of the tree to the gills is no longer necessary! Buying just to buy days are over but that makes the holiday less stressful as well! Congrats on the FP!

  39. Christmas is a year round event! I mean it. I begin straight away after one to ready for the next with quilting projects. God forbid anyone gets left out of something quilted! On the other hand listening to yuletide music on the ‘off season’ is simply too much so I opt for James Taylor or Norah Jones instead. But, having said this: I love the Christmas season so much I don’t mind the early start even though I do put off decorations until after Thanksgiving is over. So, my dear, your piece brought smiles and chuckles to me and I so dearly needed to laugh and smile today. Thank you! (and from one writer to another; girl you did good! Great piece!)

  40. These are all true. Especially the one about food popping up at work. My office currently has an e-mail circulating for a Thanksgiving potluck. Like we don’t already eat a lot at my office.

    Also, I have one more to add to your list: The Kay Jewelers commercials. Commercials showing men proposing to their sweethearts, saying that a diamond is the best way to their heart this holiday season (as it was apparently last season and the season before etc).

    • You are SO right about that! The jewelry ads are insane. That reminds me of the Lexus and Mercedes commercials (or insert Luxury Car of Your Choice here) where the wife walks outside and sees her brand new car sitting in the pristine white snow with a giant red bow on top. Gag.

  41. They started playing Christmas music here at the end of September in some places here.

    I was shopping September 27th.. yeah, i was so stunned I WROTE IT DOWN lol… and out of the speakers at the store I hear Dolly Pardon’s “Hard Candy Christmas”. The older lady near me in the aisle and I both stopped what we were doing and looked up, then at eachother.

    Why we looked up i don’t know. It was almost as if we expected 8 tiny reindeer to drop from the ceiling. She looked and me, i looked at her.. and she said “you HAVE got to be kidding”. Of, course, we then went into the “it’s not even october yets” and the “what will they do play Christmas music in August next year”.

    It’s getting a bit nutty.. but soon as December rolls around I will be feeling less like the grinch and more in the spirit. πŸ™‚

  42. planejaner says:

    The lolidays sure seem to be on the minds of many! I can’t stand the commercialization, and am almost thankful for the financial pinching we are feeling…just so we CAN’T actually go crazy this year.

    instead, we will breathe.

    πŸ™‚
    great post, and blessings!
    jane

  43. I agree Christmas keeps escaping from its little box earlier and earlier every year. I swear I saw two holiday TV ads (one for Crest White Strips and the other I can’t remember now) BEFORE Halloween.

    All the same, I was thrilled when SIRIUS/XM switched over two channels yesterday (Nov. 15) to all Christmas music, all the time yesterday. I do a good job of not getting swept up so much in the shopping craze associated with Christmas, but the holiday season just makes me so happy I’m always glad to see it arrive.

  44. kissmyfrog says:

    At least you have Halloween and Thanksgiving as some sort of pre-Christmas countdown. Here in Australia, the stores used to start the Christmas decorations in October, but they are creeping forwards, too. I saw the first big ugly gold snowflakes (why snowflakes, when Christmas day will likely be 1000 degrees?) in stores early in September this year.

    I prefer my own Christmas soundtrack, something light on the saccharine and heavy on the Pogues…

    • I’ve always wondered if it being super hot at Christmas is weird, or if it’s only weird that our Western culture promotes it as solely a winter holiday. I’ve always had seasons and equate cold/snow with Christmas.

  45. Great blog but I REFUSE to drink eggnog lattes until AFTER Thanksgiving. Have to get my fill of Pumpkin ones first. And that does for shakes too. Nice job. Ms. Z. AA

    • My wifey just poured her first egg nog the other night… keep in mind, she did this as we were making fun of our neighbor who took advantage of a warm day and put up their Christmas decorations!! The bad thing is they just didnt put the decos up, they TURNED THEM ON!!! Then again, my wife is now drinking egg nog.. guess I can’t make fun of ANYONE here..

  46. auntmagaidh says:

    And this is why it’s great to watch “Elmo Saves Christmas”. Especially in October or January. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elmo_Saves_Christmas

  47. Popcornbytes says:

    I went to the mall with my family on Sunday (but not for Christmas shopping, I assure you). It was so early for Christmas Muzak that it was very annoying.

  48. This is great! I got a good laugh out of this, and it is soo true! I will have to admit that I am probably one of those people that celebrates too early, but I still got a great laugh from this and totally agree!

  49. Haha love this!

  50. My friend was laughing at me when reading one paragraph on your blog “…, making them look like it&#8217s one giant gift box.7. Every major website is adorned with the …” it gets me to look more knowledgable after reading it.

  51. Hey, Great blog you have here. I found this post really interesting. Thanks

Trackbacks

  1. […] had a chuckle over at ZoeSays. She had the same thing to say today about the upcoming holiday season. A “you know when […]

  2. […] Baker’s Dozen: We Know It’s the Holiday Season Because… 1. The day after Halloween, instead of everything being about Thanksgiving, every store went right to Christmas. […] […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: