Kringley, Jingley, Cookies and Trees, Gluttony, Family Gatherings and Obligatory Gifts: sounds like Christmas!

December 18, 2008 2 Comments

suicidal-snowman13Howdy and Happy Holidays, everyone!

It’s been awhile since I’ve written, I’m well aware. Thanksgiving brought with it the last four weeks of getting ready for Christmas; and let’s just say I’ve been figuring out how to make Christmas work this year (read: sleeping, worrying, stress eating, sleeping, watching mindless TV, total avoidance, etc). 2008 has brought many a fiscal disaster and while my finances are far from disastrous, it’s still a small feat to crunch the numbers to find out what I can afford in cash and what’s going on ye olde credit card.

Firstly, I’d like to give a huge shoutout to the Internet (or the “World Wide Web,” as a beloved professor once called it), simply for the miracle of online shopping. I would not have been able to keep calm about everything I had to buy without this fabulous tool. If I’d actually had to go out to multiple stores to find everything I need to buy, I would have given up on the holidays long ago. The only con to online shopping when one lives in New York City is figuring out where to send the boxes. I don’t have a doorman or an apartment that delivery folks have total access to at all times. So I am forced to send things to my office and bring large bags with me to work so I can haul everything home on the subway. Fun, huh?

But still, thanks to virtual shopping, I haven’t had to stand in a huge line to get photos printed, thanks to Shutterfly. That’s my digital print shop of choice. Amazon currently sells 99% of everything under the sun (anybody try that Kindle thing yet?). Short of buying pets on Amazon.com, I’m pretty sure one can find just about anything on there. I made my giant order and was able to carry on with my daily life whilst waiting for the gifts to arrive.

Usually I get stressed out about sending out holiday cards. I’ve actually managed to do the bulk of them but I still have pending cards to write. They’ll probably sit there until December 23. Nothing says Merry Christmas like getting a holiday card on January 3. There’s always one person’s address I don’t have and then the card ultimately doesn’t get sent out. But doing the whole post office thing in NYC is….somewhat traumatic. At no time during the year is the post office ever slow. The post office is kind of like the U.S. Senate – the locations do not go by population. There are a certain amount and that’s it. So take New York – we have 9 million people here. We have a post office for the respective zip codes like everywhere else. So every single post office I’ve ever visited, without exception, is packed, the lines extensive and people impatient. There is always one New York asshole who must stand in line to mutter and curse about the long wait. It’s S.O.P. In fact, let’s just say that if I go to a drugstore or post office without hearing muttering or cursing (and I’ve been known to do it), I wonder where I am. My world doesn’t look like this (if only!): christmas-poster1

You’d think I’m not a fan of Christmas, but I really really am. I adore Christmas and Christmastime. I love Christmas songs, I love all the baking people do, the lights and decorations, the smell of pine trees, stationery and Hallmark stores, “that Christmas feeling,” new holiday coffee flavors, and particular to New York, all the street vendors and the roasted nuts guy - all of it.  

Christmas is just best when you’re a kid, though. You have absolutely none of the worries and ALL of the expectation that when you wake up on Christmas morning, you can run down to the tree and rip open presents for three hours. It’s a divine experience that we take for granted when we’re kids. Now I know all the work it takes to get those presents under the tree on time, the Christmas ham or goose or whatever to come out perfectly, and how much MONEY it takes to really have that Hallmark holiday.

Why does wrapping presents give people diarrhea? If you don’t learn how to do it properly, you give gifts that look like a car ran over them or a 4 year-old taped together. Both of my parents are excellent gift wrappers. I learned from the best. My father is extremely thorough. He’s not just wrapping, he’s making a gift presentation with lots of curly ribbon and bows. He has a wrapping timetable so he can get it all done in time. I’m pretty sure my parents spent many a Christmas Eve wrapping presents until almost dawn – and then knock knock, it’s 6am and the kids are ready to rip! But seriously, I can attest to the fatigue that wrapping brings. I finished the first half of wrapping last night (not including packing things to ship – uuuuugh) and I just wanted to curl up right there in the wrapping paper remnants and go to sleep.

As a token to one of my favorite things, I’m going to attempt to present a link attached to this photo of the Screaming Banshee, an e-card on Hallmark. Let’s try it: banshee1

Click on that shit and enjoy the hell outta it. If that’s not an accurate depiction of prepping for the holidays, I don’t know what is. (Have your sound on!)

But through it all, corny as it is, the real gift is in the giving. I love the anticipation of waiting to see what goodies I managed to find. I’m gonna toot my own horn here because I am a very good gift giver. I could be a personal shopper, I think. Except then I’d have to deal with obnoxious clients. But I use my feminine, Zoe Intuition to really hone in on something thoughtful for the people I love. I hate having to resort to a gift certificate. It happens to the best of us, though. I love when people manage to find something really Zoe-esque that I treasure for years. Otherwise, I have been the recipient of MANY cheap and expensive bath products, because that’s the Fallback Gift that all women receive when someone doesn’t know what to get her. There probably isn’t a man in a relationship that hasn’t braved Bath & Body Works at the holidays, trying to figure out “Would she like this?” and getting an entire gift basket of “Pine cone cinnamon amethyst” or “Honeyglazed lily moonstones” products - you get the point.

Besides trying to get everything done before Christmas Eve hits (and let’s face it, December is the fastest month of the entire year), if you work in an office, you are surrounded by constant offerings of food and special treats. I know I am. Thus far this month we have had popcorn tins on each floor of the office, a holiday breakfast, lavish holiday party (coming up tomorrow night – right when NYC is supposed to be slammed with snow – woo!) and one of my bosses has received a multitude of treats, including chocolate peppermint bark, a huge basket of chocolate covered pretzels, Oreos (!!!!) and graham crackers, and a bunch of us had a holiday potluck of sorts, where we all brought something festive and exchanged recipes. (I brought seasoned pecans – a big hit, not gonna lie.) The other day, in the span of 12 hours, I was offered cookies from no less than three different people. Including myself, people’s away messages are all about “No more cookies – seriously.” It’s gluttony central.

So it’s the last full business week before the holidays. Christmas is ONE WEEK FROM TODAY. I have oodles left to do but thankfully putting up and decorating the tree isn’t one of them. I have no pets or children, so I can relax without wondering if I’m going to come home to a fallen tree in my apartment. By the time January 2nd is here, I’ll be ready to swear off cookies and treats….for a little while. But even I, with my famed sweet tooth, get sweeted out at this time of year. I offered someone a “chocolate covered something or other” and he emphatically said, “NO” and gave me a shoving hand gesture.

In a TOTAL act of randomness, I read in O Magazine about the popularity of the salty/sweet combination. A reader wrote in and said she made a batch of chocolate covered bacon. I’ve had chocolate covered potato chips (which were sinfully delicious) but never thought about chocolate covered bacon. What do you think? Would you try it? I can’t say I wouldn’t try it – my voracious love for salty/sweet is too strong.

I should take the time to ask if anybody likes Christmas but hates Christmas music. My roommate and I have had music playing and had a whole Christmas movie marathon of sorts when we did our tree. We watched National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, Home Alone and Bad Santa. Three classics. But definitely on the list to watch are A Christmas Story, A Charlie Brown Christmas and The Grinch Who Stole Christmas (animated OR live-action). I have a bunch of others but there’s only so much time to watch this stuff. I’m definitely in the cult fan club of A Christmas Story. I don’t get people who don’t get it. David, am I right?

In an attempt to put an end to this huge tangent about Christmas, I hope all of you have a fantastic holiday season, peaceful and bright, with at least one fun drunken moment (but without blacking out or puking) and a celebratory New Year. Just avoid getting in front of the camera at those holiday parties. I can attest that not all drunk photos come out great.

Merry merry!

chris_41

Filed Under: Humor, Relative to Everyone, Relative to NYC Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Acceptable Man Purse, a.k.a. The Messenger Bag

November 23, 2008 4 Comments

Earlier in the week, standing in a crowded subway on the way to work, I noticed several guys around me wearing messenger bags. This is not a new phenomenon; in fact, it’s pretty non-newsworthy.

A friend of mine who studied abroad with me four years ago (and probably still uses his) had one. When I first saw it, I complimented him on his anti-traditional backpack. But I really had no idea just how popular these would become.

It is my contention that dudes want to carry some kind of a purse but haven’t found the most practical, stylish or society-accepted one – until recent years. An ex-boyfriend of mine got a new laptop when he started a new job last year. He began carrying it to and from work in an over-the-shoulder laptop bag.

He later admitted to me that he had grown so accustomed to carrying the laptop bag, in which he could put all manner of items other than just the laptop et al, that he felt rather naked without it. He had nowhere to put all his little things he wanted to carry around with him if he wasn’t carrying the laptop. (What’s a boy to do without hairspray and 928 receipts?)

I’m not basing my entire theory on his desire to carry things around. The sheer popularity of messenger bags, backpacks and other types of acceptable man-sacks in New York tells me that we would see the exact same thing in the other metropolitan areas of the country, especially where people mostly use public transportation. It makes complete sense that every person who lives in New York would need to have some kind of bag with him or her at all times. Without a car, we have to have someplace to put our crap. (I know I do. I can’t clean out a purse without wondering how I ended up with so much shit in there. I end up throwing away 3lbs of stuff I was carrying around with me for months.)

It’s exceedingly rare to see someone walking around this city or standing on the subway with nothing on his person. I only say ‘his’ because I have never seen a woman who isn’t carrying something; it can be as small as a credit card but women do not walk around this city with nothing. (Which brings up the whole topic of leaving the house without stuff like identification or keys – the thought panics me.) More often than not, I see women in New York carrying two purses – one giant one as a gym bag and the other as her actual purse. Seriously, without cars we become nomads.

The bottom line is, men have finally found an acceptable way to have a purse. And I quote, “Several boys and men were actually among the first to use messenger bags to help make their load lighter.” Check out the article that goes into a brief history on messenger bags. Truth be told, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to carry your crap around with you, especially in a big city like this. But we as a society are extremely slow to change strong notions (turnover on gay marriage, anyone?) and men carrying something akin to a purse is one of them.

There are two key factors which aid its look and functionality, the first being the flat flap over the bag. As the article on About.com states, a guy can put patches or pins or what have you on it, or just leave it plain and it’s fine. Some might argue that plainer is better – that one shouldn’t have to dress it up with anything. The flat flap is easy to open, making all his junk accessible. (Hmmm that applies to another flap guys deal with everyday. Coincidence?)

The second key factor is the strap that enables a guy to sling it over one shoulder and across the body. In this way, the guy isn’t carrying it over his shoulder like a woman does with her purse (although I am perfectly aware many women prefer the across-the-body look – I am not one of those). Also, if he doesn’t want it in front of him (more purselike?), it can sit behind him – acting as a giant wallet where he can reach behind and grab what he needs. Lastly, it avoids having to carry a bulkier, heavier and sometimes hotter backpack. Why does someone need to be a student to carry crap around? He doesn’t. Enter the messenger bag.

Dudes, if you haven’t tried one, pick up a cheapy one and see if you like it. Make sure it’s comfortable – that shoulder strap across-the-body thing is really important. I saw a video on YouTube showing how to make one out of trash bags. (I mean, really….) So they range from practically free to going all out and buying one from Gucci, if you wanna get retarded serious about where to drop your dollas.

Add one to your gift wish list – see if it changes your life. I’m betting it will. And, in the process of attempting to be unique, you’ll become part of the majority.

Messenger bags define “hip” by being nearly an anti-fashion statement. They look casual and trendy all at once – and like a denim jacket or a concert t-shirt, they can actually become even cooler the older and more beat up they become.

Matthew McConaugheeeey sporting his bag.

Matthew McConaugheeeey sporting his bag.

Filed Under: Occurrences, Relative to NYC Tagged With: , , , , ,

Bottom line, these are awesome

November 15, 2008 3 Comments

After taking a ten day break from posting to the blog, I’m making my efforts to get back in the game with one or two posts this weekend. I checked my drafts and notes I’ve made to myself to see what sparked my interest. Some material just begs to be written, ya know?

Anyhow, one post I’ve mulled over quite a bit is giving props to some of my favorite things as of late. They don’t really run together in a thematic way, but that’s just how I roll. Even when I journal, I’ll interrupt my own thoughts to write about something completely off topic and then go back to finish writing on the first subject. Re-reading my journals definitely cracks me up and absolutely gives credence to the term “stream of consciousness.” (I don’t usually go back and reread, though. I have a weird thing about that.)

But let’s get to the awesome stuff, shall we? A couple of weeks ago, I was at my local grocery store and I came to the cereal aisle. I don’t purchase cereal too often, since I’m hardly ever home to eat it. I get to the weekends and usually want it but to me, it doesn’t make sense to run to the store to get a box for two whole days. But this time, I specifically went to the cereal aisle to see if they had something in stock that I’d been secretly wanting to try for quite some time: Chocolate Lucky Charms. Oh yeah. None of this grown-up, 20g-of-fiber-per-serving crap. “Whole grain,” chocolate and marshmallow infused, sugary goodness. I could practically hear my inner 5 year-old shrieking with delight.

I put the box in my basket, made sure I bought fresh milk, and proceeded to jam home so I could dig in. I poured a huge bowl immediately, let the cereal sit in the milk for about a minute and dug in. I love this closeup I found of the stuff:

I love the rainbows!

 

 

If you have had any remote inkling within you to try a kids’ cereal, try this one. Sure, Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Frosted Flakes are all fine and dandy, but this one tops it all, guys. Trust me on this one. It’s a close race but the only other kids’ cereal I would eat with regularity (but don’t allow myself to) is Reese’s Puffs. reeses-puffs-cereal-box

OOOOOMMMMMGGGGG they are so good! But since they don’t have marshmallows, they make #2 on Zoe’s List of Awesome Cereals. Have you ever had whole milk or dare I suggest it, half ‘n half on cereal? The quality of milk is very important. Don’t even try to tell me that cereal is good with skim milk on it, because we all know it’s not. It’s blue water. Remember the movie Friday where the mom tells Ice Cube’s character, “Use water. Won’t hurt.” when there’s no milk for his cereal? Yeah. That’s disgusting. (Incidentally, I think my dad suggested that to me once when I was a kid. Water on cereal tastes like you’re eating it out of the toilet. I’m just saying.) Creamy, delicious milk on Chocolate Lucky Charms absolutely makes the weekend. Try it for yourself.

Moving on. Something else that has been at the forefront of awesomeness for me is Lancome. (Jennifer, I know you hear me on this one!) Ladies, this is not just crappy, American slop with a fancy French label. This is the real stuff from Paris and their skincare and makeup is hard to beat. If you only buy one thing ever from Lancome, make it their mascara. For a very long time, their Definicils was my favorite but then…they came out with L’Extreme. My fellow Lancome lover Jennifer told me to try it and I’ve never looked back. Does it cost $24 for a tube of mascara that, worn faithfully, will only last you three months? Yes. But is it worth every superbly lengthened eyelash? You bet.

In fact, if you go to Lancome’s website and click on Best Sellers, the first five things that grace the page are their Bi-Facil eye makeup remover (which totally rocks, I can attest) and four of their mascaras, including Definicils. Their new one is Oscillation. I don’t know a thing about “vibrating” mascara but it’s selling well, obviously. You can watch the demo video. It’s ten bucks more but if you want those fabulous eyes framed by longass lashes, it could be worth it. For those of us who live in New York, we have access to Lancome through more than one outlet: Sephora, the Lancome store and any number of department store makeup counters. I have a little of everything in Lancome, but I have also tried their Pure Focus skincare line and it’s nothing short of fabulous. For those like me who have oily skin, a MUST HAVE in your regiment is their Tonique Pure Focus. It has mattifying powders in it that keep your face from getting nasty greasy throghout the day. Worth every cent and photographs without a shiny T-zone. I won’t even get into Juicy Tubes or their eyeliners, but the point is obviously to try some Lancome. You’ll never go back. The reason I can say this so emphatically is that due to budget constraints, I bought some L’Oreal Bare Naturale mascara and I gotta say, I’m not impressed. I do like that it boasts more natural ingredients, yes. And I have tried and really love the whole natural makeup thing – I have Bare Escentuals powder foundation and it’s the only thing I’ll use. But what I don’t like about this particular mascara is that not only does it take much more time to try to get the same effect as Lancome’s L’Extreme, but my lashes harden very stiffly. I’ve also noticed that my eyes get irritated at the end of the day and so while I saved $20 by trying it out, I will not be repurchasing. That having been said, I have read reviews where women swear by this stuff, but it’s not for me. What can I say, my lashes demand more. They have expensive taste.

The last thing I’m writing in-depth about is autumn. I love this season. I really enjoy the transitional seasons more than the extremes. I was born in the spring so maybe that makes me biased. There are even parts of winter I enjoy (like Christmas) but after awhile, the extreme cold gets to me and I’m ready for warmer days. After spring, summer hits and I tire quickly of the blistering heat and sweating constantly with a million other people sweating in the NYC subway. Blech.

What I love about autumn is the transition from hot to cold, progressively, over its three months. The leaves change color and gives us these gorgeous views. My mom took some photos and sent them – I thought these two were particularly grand:

autumn-leaves-2yellow-leaves

The leaves fall, getting nice and crunchy. They coat our sidewalks, streets and homes. A chill begins to permeate the air. Is there anything better than smelling wood smoke on a crisp, autumn evening? The heaters begin to come on and at least in New York apartments, the sound and smell of steam from the radiators becomes a part of the apartment atmosphere (unless your landlord is a dick and keeps the heat at some ridiculously low temperature and you freeze).

Road trips in autumn are my favorite. Back in college, my friends and I would go up to my old roommate’s house in Lake Placid, New York, where the scenery just stole your breath. Plenty of wood smoke smell there! Listening to music and driving whilst sipping on something like pumpkin spice coffee or hot chocolate….mmmmm…..it’s like all my troubles melt away. Damn, it just reminds me I don’t own a car anymore. To Do: buy a car in the future.

Then after the road trip when you get to your destination or back home, the cold night air makes you want to curl up and watch a favorite movie under a toasty blanket. I recently purchased Good Will Hunting, a movie I’ve been wanting to add to my collection for a long time. (My book club debated on who was hotter in that movie, Matt Damon or Ben Affleck. I’m in the Matt Damon club.) There’s nothing about autumn I don’t love – Halloween, Thanksgiving, the lead-up to Christmas….mmmm. I’ll have to write about the holiday season in another post – I love it. I’m one of those annoying people who can listen to Christmas music the start of November. Uh huh.

All of this makes me want to go unwrap the new movie and give it a spin. I even have the perfect blanket in which to wrap myself. All I need now is some Chocolate Lucky Charms and extended eyelashes care of Lancome.

Filed Under: Relative to Everyone, Relative to NYC, Zoe Recommends Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Those three little words…

October 9, 2008 Leave a Comment

     There are three words that comprise an expression that are very near and dear to my heart. People like hearing it, I like saying it, and I like having people say it to me.

     I’m talking, of course, about “I know, right?”

      I don’t know if it’s a Northeastern thing in America, but until I moved to these parts in 2005 I had never been exposed to the phrase, “I know, right?” or “Right?” for short. The phrase has been around circa 2003, I believe. Apparently it was very prevalent in the movie Mean Girls, which Tina Fey wrote and starred in (2004); and she’s from New York so I think I’ve just answered my question about one of its possible origins.

     Anyway. Upon hearing this phrase the first few times from various New Yorkers, including my first roommate (who was from Ohio but had been living in New York for a few years already), I latched onto it immediately and it became a permanent part of my lexicon. (What’s a lexicon?)

     Let’s break it down. It’s not just saying “I know,” which in and of itself is simplistic and also affirming. It’s adding the “right?” at the end; in combination with “I know,” the “right?” gives the phrase a lovely redundancy and succeeds in creating more conversation between two people – or at the very least, tying up a dialogue nicely.

    For those of you who may not have heard of this expression – not only am I impressed but welcome! – there are a few ways to use it. The differences may be subtle, but they are there. Click here to see Urban Dictionary’s take on the definitions. I think what I like most about it is that while yes, you can use it as a generic statement of agreement, Definition 3 of saying it’s a way to relate to a preceding statement is how I like to use it best. For example, if you say to me, “God, I can’t find a single store carrying the Tickle Me Elmo doll,” I can say to you, “I know, right? I went to five different places myself yesterday.” It’s a phrase that extends comraderie and now you and I can perhaps find other things we have in common, as well.

     The shortened “Right?” is great to use with both people you know very well and those you don’t, such as colleagues. I have personally used this at work with my own bosses and there is no mistaking its meaning. It does speak of my age and generation, yes, but my putting it out there demonstrates that I believe they, too, can get in on it and understand me without looking at me like I just used some very inappropriate slang (like maybe saying, “That’s fuckin’ dope” to something positive they tell me).

If ever a facial expression existed for "I know, right?" it's this one.

The classic "I know, right?" facial expression.

    It’s a way to bring someone in on something and close any relational gaps just a bit further. On the other hand, if you use it amongst your friends or family, it’s just utilizing a modern phrase of agreement that is casual and friendly. I believe my friend David can attest to the fact that he himself did not start using “I know, right?” until I had begun using it with him on enough occasions after I’d moved here that he noticed and asked me about it. He also appreciated it and began spreading it to his fellow West Coasters. I even remember him telling me that it had trickled into his girlfriend’s (now wife’s) vocabulary. I’m going to detail for you here two situations from my own life of its use so those of you who are still getting accustomed to it can fully grasp how to begin spreading it in your own groups:

Gchat between myself and David, September 18:

David: Still have just under half a tank. Totally saving money.
Me: Which is excellent. More money to spend on sweaters for Chip.
David: Right?

     That particular Chat is taken totally out of context and it would take a lot to explain why his saving money on gas can buy future sweaters for Chip. Chip’s his dog. But you get the point. It just slides right on in there. He can agree with me or at least just give credence to my statement (if not a “haha”) and then we can easily shift topics.

     This morning at work, I noticed that my office manager who has been out for a week or two was back. I heard her talking and walked past Reception, saying to our lovely Reception guy, “Shirley* is back in the office!” He immediately replied, “I know, right?”

     Up until now I don’t think I would have thought that the phrase could be used for such a benign observation such as that, but it worked. It pertained. It was apt. The meaning of his “I know, right?” could have been anything from “Yeah, I really have to be more careful now at the office,” to “Yeah, I didn’t know she was here at first, either.” A little subtle but it still worked.

     Here’s a photo whose caption is merely, “I KNOW RIGHT?” This makes use of the subtlest use of the phrase, because a person doesn’t even have to do or say anything sometimes when you show them something outrageous or funny. You can just say “I know, right?!” while you wait for them to react. Exhibit A: a Hello Kitty shaped exhaust pipe. IT BEGS TO BE SAID! If you’re like me, you’ve said like this in your head, “I KNOOOOOOW, RIGHT?!”

     “I know, right?” breaks down barriers. It brings people closer together. Won’t you try it out? Won’t you get to know your neighbor? It gets you through lots of situations, even with total strangers in an elevator. Someone can say something very small-talkish like, “It’s getting colder out…pretty soon it’s gonna be dark at 5.” Bam. You have your instant response without having to elaborate. You whip it out smoothly:

     “I know, right? The winter coat’s comin’ out in the near future.” Ding! You get off at your floor. You have avoided any awkward silence and appear to have social skills. Nobody has to know if you’re introverted and shy to the point of being terrified of any human interaction. “I know, right?” or “Right?” is there to save you.

     Use it. Don’t let it get dusty, folks. It might have started out pretty vaguely and kept to a smaller geographic region, but let’s face it – it’s here to stay.

     (Right?)

*Name was changed.

Filed Under: Relative to Everyone, Relative to NYC Tagged With: , , , , ,

My primal, Sunday baking urge

September 8, 2008 Leave a Comment
Yep, this looks about right.

Yep, this looks about right.

For the life of me, I cannot get Beyonce’s song “Irreplaceable” out of my head. The only two phrases running through my mind all day have been, “To the left, to the left…” and “You must not know ’bout me, you must not know ’bout me…” I only recently downloaded it after hearing it at David’s wedding reception and I thought that maybe if I listened to it a few times the song would fade from my head. Instead, the lyrics keep cycling around up there with no end in sight. Listening to the song provides relief and insanity all at once.

The beginning of my day started three hours earlier than my Saturday. It totally escapes me why I woke up refreshed at 9am when I went to bed after 2, after having gone out and having a few drinks with a work friend the night before. Why is it that I can wake up and feel great with seven hours of sleep on a Sunday but if I get 7.5 on a weeknight I feel like a hungover zombie on any given day of the work week? It’s why I firmly believe that my body is not meant to be up before 8am. Waking up and getting out of bed before 7am goes against every aspect of my body, mind and soul on a molecular level. I can feel the protest coursing through my blood when I force myself to my feet to grab my bath towels and head to the shower. But whatever the reason today, I got up and decided to make the day as productive and yet relaxing as possible.

The weather changes absolutely affect my decision making process on what I intend to do for the day. In today’s case, it was sunny and cool in the morning and I was actually able to shut off my air conditioner that usually runs (even just on fan) to keep the air flowing. When it’s really hot and sunny, totally nasty humid, snowy, sleeting, gray or rainy, I usually find some way to lie prone and read, sleep, watch TV, play Sudoku, text people and any combination thereof as the day progresses. Today went down differently.

Intsead of laying around for the entire day watching TV and avoiding going through the rat’s nest of disorganization in my room, as has been my habit for the past six weekends, I sat at the computer and did my budget for the rest of the week (which consists of looking at the remainder of my money before my next paycheck and cringing). I then made a prudent financial decision not to order any coffee from Coffee Fool (if you haven’t tried this coffee yet, I highly encourage you to do so – amazing stuff) and just finish out the Folger’s French Roast in the freezer. With the $12 I was saving on my coffee order, I applied it to my order of groceries from Fresh Direct, a grocery/catering service native to New York and one of the biggest perks about living here.

Delivery service is what helps make NYC so unique and wonderful, and when Fresh Direct made its way into the forefront of my existence, I embraced it wholeheartedly and gratefully. Sit on my ass and choose groceries and have them delivered when I want anytime in the coming week? Sold!

I am incredibly lazy about going to the grocery store. My friends and family can attest to my personal bests of going weeks upon weeks without buying anything more than a can of soup and a jug of milk at one time.  I think my personal best thus far has been six weeks of buying absolutely nothing, and that was two years ago. I almost caught up to that record until today. So the fact that I ordered some ready-to-eat meals and produce from Fresh Direct and I went to the store up the street from me to get some staples for the day is an incredible feat for me. Put a gold medal around my neck, thank you!

One of my girlfriends who recently moved to Astoria has already explored the area enough around her to know that there’s a Costco nearby. I wouldn’t have known that if I’d lived here twenty years. I aspire to be more like her when I’m not indulging in sheer laziness on the weekends.

So having already been uber successful at waking up early, making a sound financial decision AND ordering groceries, all before having any coffee, how or why the idea of making cookies came into my head I know not. I just know that I hadn’t done anything baking-oriented in ages (mostly due to living with a batshit crazy roommate, as described in my first post) and I was craving the comfy, cozy routine of doing something homey. And you know what, it hoenstly doesn’t get any better than baking cookies. I wasn’t even craving anything dessert-ish per se, I just had an overwhelming urge to bake. Not wanting to ignore the insistent call in my head, I began researching recipes online by Googling the phrase “best chocolate chip cookies” followed by “oatmeal chocolate chip cookies.”

Oatmeal chocolate chip cookies are my ultimate favorite. The texture and flavor of the oats mixed with the brown sugar, butter and chocolate chips….and imagining them hot and fresh out of the oven….I kept the saliva in check and continued my research. I finally landed upon a recipe from a food blog called Smitten Kitchen. Haha, wow this whole day I thought it was Smitten Kitten and it’s actually Smitten Kitchen. I thought that was so cute, too – Smitten Kitten. Good grief. Anyway, the recipe is for Oatmeal, Chocolate Chip and Pecan Cookies. It was Zoe Perfect! I loved everything about it except the orange zest, which I omitted from even being an option for my cookies. Citrus fruit + chocolate and/or cookie dough = Pointless in the Tao of Zoe. That includes cranberries or cran-raisins. (I mean seriously, what is up with that shit?)

After taking notes on all the ingredients and figuring out if I could afford to make these things, because after all, I own zero sugar, flour or any other staples except vanilla and baking soda, I threw on my flip flops and an acceptable pair of loungey pants and tee-shirt in which to walk to the store (I even put on deodorant!). It wasn’t even 11 in the morning and I was going grocery shopping. I felt like a real grown-up. My fellow Astorian girlfriend would have been proud.

I stuck to my list, a very hard thing to do for most people, and came home with all the goodies. But first I had to relax with my leftover pizza for breakfast and do some dishes before I could even think about making cookies. I took a few photos so you could see the results because if you’re any kind of normal person, you would think this looks amazing. Unless you’re my friend David, who is anti-nuts in baked goods. I’m hoping he’ll one day change his mind but since neither of us haven’t changed ours about loathing seafood (another post for another time), I’m not holding my breath.

Behold the dough in its glorious, shiny beauty!

Phenomenal, gooey,chocolatey, nutty, oatey, magical cookie dough

If you think that looks good, and trust me, it was….here’s the final product:

Oooh, ahh...

Oooh, ahh...

I got the macro function of my camera to work!

I got the macro function of my camera to work!

What really gives it a pinch of autumn lusciousness are the spices of cinnamon, nutmeg and cloves added to the flour mixture. Picture an Italian chef kissing their fingertips with a mwah sound and saying, “Magnifico!”

Needless to say, I munched on a couple right out of the oven and then later on in the evening I ate a few watching stand-up comedy and movies. I filled a couple of plastic tupperware containers with the cookies so I am hoping that despite working in a New York City office, that I will be able to get people to consume one or two, so that I don’t have to come home every night of the week and eat these all on my own. Because 70% of the purpose and thrill of cooking and baking is having others moan and groan over the culinary success of the recipe.

I need praise.

After the exhausting process of measuring, stirring, forming and eating the cookies, it was 2:30pm and time to celebrate my 5.5 hours of productivity – with a nap. After two blissful hours of curling up in the blissful quiet of my room, I woke up at 4:30 to watch some more random movies on HBO, stand-up comedy on Comedy Central and much later on, the Colts v. Bears game. (I love those Manning guys.) My room was once again ignored and once again, I will hope that the motivation to get that done will strike me instead of cookie baking or something else really frivolous next weekend. But I did make some progress on a Moderately Difficult Sudoku puzzle and really enjoyed the fact that my subconscious is really feeling at home here in the new place; or those cookies never would have been made, and that would have been a real shame on this gorgeous pre-autumn Sunday.

(To the left, to the left…)

Filed Under: Occurrences, Relative to NYC Tagged With: , , , , , ,
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