Driver’s Ed 101

October 21, 2011 11 Comments

Cher is lovable but she is a terrible driver. What not to do.

Now that I’ve been back in the driving world for over a year, I have started to add up some observations on common driving mistakes. I don’t believe that these are inherent to just the drivers in my city but there is one in particular which I’ve noticed that really shouldn’t be a problem if you are an experienced driver.

Let’s talk about backing out of parking spaces, shall we? Take this woman, for instance:


I can’t believe that the person waiting for the woman to figure out how to park waited as long as he did. I do admire him for finally asking if he could park the woman’s car for her. I DON’T believe this woman should be a licensed driver.

What I don’t appreciate is that there seems to be this misapprehension that women are terrible drivers. There are plenty of horrible male drivers in this world, as well. For some people, driving is instinctual – you just GET it. I am one of those people. My best friend has never learned how to drive and isn’t interested at all. She placed herself in a city where she has reliable public transportation. Kudos to her!

I yearned to learn how to drive at a very early age and by the time I turned nine, I started counting the years until I turned sixteen and I would finally get my license. I’m not even kidding. The day I got my driver’s license was one of the happiest in my entire life. I remember it fondly. My mom was nervous about me “tooling around” on my own but quickly realized what a boon it was to have a daughter more than willing to run errands, just so she could drive the car all by herself.

Now that I have been a licensed driver for over half of my existence, I can safely say that it is one of the best gifts a person can have. I thought about how fortunate I am to be able to own and drive my own car the other day as I was on my way to work. I still get a kick out of driving each and every day. And I think road trips are as fun as they are therapeutic.

While there were plenty of times I liked riding the subway when I lived in New York, I have an even fuller appreciation for being able to drive to work now. It doesn’t hurt that my commute isn’t a one-hour, clogged traffic jam everyday, either. Still, until you’ve sacrificed your personal space on a crowded rush-hour train in New York City, you can’t know how freeing it feels to be able to throw your things in the passenger seat, blast heat or air conditioning as you see fit, be able to sit the whole time, and listen to music as loudly as you want (or not). It’s a serious sigh of relief.

However, I do believe that having a license is something that most people take for granted; there might be many fewer accidents otherwise. I still maintain my position on minivans, by the way, as just this morning the light turned green but we all waited for the minivan flying at 50mph to plow through the intersection on a red light. (And it was a man driving.) Driving is as much about courtesy to others as it is a convenience for us to get ourselves around.

Backing into and out of parking spaces is a necessity of a driver’s life and yet, so many people can not seem to figure this out. There is a very simple rule that has served me well since I was 15 years of age and in Driver’s Ed. The coach told us it’s a 75/25 rule: back out straight three-quarters of the way before you begin turning your wheels. You will not scrape the cars on either side of you if you stick to this rule of thumb. And it really works! I frequently see people in my office parking lot turn their wheels the moment they’ve hit reverse and I’m amazed more cars aren’t stripped lengthwise of their paint. I cringe every single time.

I could probably go on for longer than most people would prefer with driving safety tips so I’m going to leave you with the one tip for today and hope it changes your life or someone else’s you may know.

Because if you are anything like this other woman below (who requires the help of yet another woman guiding her), you need to re-evaluate whether you should be driving, stat:

Filed Under: Humor, Relative to C-U, Relative to Everyone Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Amalgam Day

October 19, 2011 18 Comments

Hello fair readers!

For the post du jour, I’m whining writing about a couple of things that have been in the hopper for a little while but needed proper motivation to be written.

Today is that day. Hooray!

Before we get to it, an amalgam is “a mixture of different elements,” the second definition of this word according to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary.

First things first. I have decided that instead of “Hump Day,” Wednesday should be called “Slump Day.” I mentioned this to a friend of mine this morning because I feel very strongly against using the word “hump” – gross. And also it really does feel like a slump. Is anyone really motivated on Wednesday? Anyone? I’m waiting. Or we could just call it Amalgam Day, but that wouldn’t always apply.

Next on the list:

So apparently I’m a masochist. It takes me forever to realize that something is going to suck no matter how much I want it to not suck.

<Dramatic Deep Sigh>

Today turned out to be incredibly chilly, rainy, and windy, so I decided to get myself a hot meal at lunchtime. Since I didn’t have time to go out for a real sit-down meal, I ventured to go for McDonald’s, the only fast food place close by to my office. I know, you’re probably thinking, “There’s your first mistake.” I hadn’t been to Mickey D’s in a couple of weeks and so I was ready for it to reward me for my abstinence.

I also thought that perhaps they’d be having a Good Fry Day and I would be able to benefit from it. We all know what Good Fry Days are at McDonald’s – you get your bag and these perfectly cooked golden sticks with just the right amount of salt on them await you to consume them. They become the cornerstone of the meal, though Chicken McNuggets or a Big Mac aren’t too far behind. For the record, it was NOT a good fry day. I got hot fries but they were overcooked and had a puke yellow color to them, so they were not all that appetizing.

In any case, I decided that on top of getting a regular lunch meal, I’d opt to try a hot coffee drink, since they have already begun putting their holiday beverage advertisements out at the drive-thru. (I guess it worked….)

There’s no way in hell I would try anything with “peppermint” in it from McDonald’s, so that nixed the “Peppermint Hot Chocolate” and I didn’t want a regular latte, not that I trust them to make a great one. My go-to coffee drink is a mocha when I’m feeling splurge-y, so that’s what I decided on.

I know, we’ve been here before, right? Also here. I keep signing up for the pyramid schemes and believing I’m going to make my money back.

Needless to say, it did not live up to the expectations my little heart had set.

Pros: the ‘mocha’ was hot; it had whipped cream and a drizzle of chocolate syrup on top
Cons: it was mostly just espresso with not enough milk in it and was entirely too bitter; the best part of consuming this ‘mocha’ was at the end when I got the extra bit of syrup and whipped cream mixed in with the last of the drink. I should have just gotten a regular cup of coffee.

Basically, I’m living out the cliché definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. The hope here is that having written about these disastrous drinks on a couple of different occasions, I’ll actually like, REMEMBER that the next time I think I am going to manifest that perfect coffee drink I’m craving and I find myself at McDonald’s.

I have yet to hear from anyone that these things are actually satisfying, unless you’re addicted to super sugary stuff and go for the drinks that are all syrup with a drop of espresso in them.

All of this leads me to my final point, and one I didn’t think I’d ever say:

Dear Starbucks, PLEASE SET UP A NEW LOCATION IN MY CITY! Urbana has the Starbuckses because the University of Illinois is there. We Champaigners don’t have one, unless you count going up to the mall area, which I don’t. You know what we get instead? A plethora of Espresso Royales.

Don't be fooled. It's horrible.

Espresso Royale is even worse than McDonald’s AND they charge you up the ass for their beverages and baked goods. I can’t say enough bad things about that place, and after trying them at least five times before giving up (are we seeing a pattern here?), I can say with confidence they don’t know how to make coffee OR hot chocolate.

I NEED a Starbuck’s. They may be all corporate and “everything that’s wrong with America,” but I am desperate. They know how to make a freaking mocha without screwing it up and know a little something about the art of coffee, even if they’re not everyone’s ideal. Plus, they make a damn fine pumpkin spice latte.

I don’t even need a giant Starbucks with a drive-thru. I just want a little shop set up within a mile of of where I work in the southwest corner of Champaign. Is that really too much to ask? Please, Starbucks, come and put Espresso Royale out of business!! It’s a travesty that that place is even staying afloat because they’re doing everything they can to keep people out, trust me.

I actually really like my newly adopted city but if I were appointed City Planner or whoever makes these kinds of decisions, I’d ban Espresso Royale and start getting some much needed coffee shops in the coffee-less areas for the suburbanites. It’s time to get the good coffee drinks to us coffee snobs in the farther out regions. (Some of us ninety-nine percenters have spending priorities such as I do – it’s all we’ve got! Did I say the word ‘coffee’ enough in this paragraph?)

To sum up: McDonald’s keeps on disappointing and it’s annoying; Starbucks is neglecting a very important area of the country and needs only to send me an email if they want to know where to set up their next location.

Happy Slump Day.

Filed Under: Humor, Occurrences, Rants Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

It’s okay to laugh.

October 7, 2011 17 Comments

The man I love has one particular quality which I admire and value more than I thought I ever could.

He’s able to laugh at himself. Quite effortlessly, in fact.

Maybe this isn’t a big deal for some of you but for me, it’s really up there.

I am not very good terrible at laughing at myself. I pride myself on having a good sense of humor but there are just certain things I don’t find funny. I was never one of those who appreciated practical jokes or prank calls, especially if I was the recipient. And I’ve been the recipient.

One of the traits I always loved about my brother when we were growing up was his ability to make me laugh when he was making fun of me; I held this in the highest esteem, of course, because I didn’t like poking fun at things I said or did. It’s always made me feel as if my flaws were on display and I could just never lighten the hell up about it.

I think that’s why even now, when someone goes out of his or her way to try and make another person feel stupid, I get really defensive, whether it’s myself or not. I’ve always valued any person’s ability to have patience and explain things if I (or someone else) doesn’t know something.

Nonetheless…one thing that will get me in hysterics every time is physical humor. Specifically, people tripping. Kevin is the first person to admit that he’s klutzy, and most of the time, it’s endearing.

But after the thirty-seventh time of listening to things crashing in the kitchen or watching him come home completely torn up and bloodied because he tripped while walking, it starts getting frustrating. (The most recent incident had him scabbed up for a few weeks – thankfully he had his bike helmet still on when he tripped or he would have given himself a head injury. I can’t make this stuff up.)

The best part about Kevin being clumsy is that he takes it all in stride and doesn’t stress out about it at all. Me, I fret. I’m constantly wringing my hands and telling him, “For the love of God, be careful!” He just laughs and shrugs his shoulders.

I so wish I could be like that when it comes to myself. I’ve had several people in my life make fun of my pronunciation of certain words. I think it’s when I get particularly Midwestern and say something with a classic nasal A or E sound. I have a friend who was in absolute hysterics listening to me order a “lamb sandwich on a pita” in NYC one day. I’ve never heard the end of it. I still don’t get it. I’ve laughed along as best I can but I seriously don’t get it. And it’s not one of those, “You had to be there” moments because I was there. I can “heh” a little bit that she finds it so hilarious but since I don’t understand where in my pronunciation I went wrong, I can barely crack more than a confused smile.

It’s in those times that I want to channel Kevin and just bust up laughing with everyone else. I think he’s a good influence on me, though, and I get the biggest laughs when we’re teasing one another at home about something or other. I like to impersonate him in different voices which always ruffles his feathers a bit but he’s such a damn good sport about it, so I never stop doing it. I’m in stitches every time!

Little side story: when we were first dating and Kevin was learning about my likes and dislikes, especially when it came to food and cooking, he told me I was a really picky eater.

At first I was kind of appalled, because I never considered I was picky, just someone who had very particular taste. (I know. Denial.) Over time as we’ve lived and grown together, I have to admit he was right and I don’t know how I ever thought I wasn’t but I am one picky mofu.

Today’s lunch was a perfect example. I went to the store to get something from the deli and I wanted to add something from the produce section. I wandered amongst the fruit and veggeis, undecided. Then, I spied the most perfect thing I’ve ever seen:

DICED PEPPERS!

For those of you wondering what the BFD is, they’re diced peppers. Diced! I have a thing with veggies where they have to be diced in order for me to eat them with gusto. Otherwise I’ll just pick at them. I know it sounds so oddball but anytime I’m given a salad and the veggies are in big slices or chunks vs. nicely quartered or diced, I never finish them. That includes lettuce leaves, usually, as well.

But with this? I managed to eat the entire 6 oz. container with NO salad dressing as I ate my chicken lunch. This is a proud moment in Zoe history, I’m just saying.

And I know that this is weird, I know it’s funny, and I feel good about laughing at myself. It’s progress! Kevin will no doubt shake his head when he finds out since I still eat vegetables like a five-year-old but hey, whatever works, right?

I don’t know if I’ll ever get to the point where I can laugh at myself when everyone is staring at me after a particularly embarrassing moment, say, if I tripped. But let me tell you. There is no stopping the mirth from flowing when I see someone trip and just completely bite it. I just CAN’T HELP IT. I will – between gasps of laughter – ask the person if s/he’s okay, of course. I’m nice like that. And I so wish I weren’t a hypocrite on this one but it’s never funny when I do it and always funny when someone else does it.

No matter what movie it is, if someone can pull off a successful natural looking trip, I will crack up. And so, if you’d like to join me, this YouTube video has some of the best physical trips I’ve seen in a long time. Favorite moments: waitress, hurdling, Mercedes honking.

As I get older, I sincerely hope I can keep working on this and be able to tell others, “It’s okay to laugh.”

Filed Under: Humor, Zoe Quirks Tagged With: , , , , ,

Home-icide

September 28, 2011 14 Comments

I live in a (rental) house that is one hundred years old. Well, really, it’s 98 but in 2013 it will be 100. This is not one of those well kept up homes that has been lovingly preserved and cared for, passed down through generations. I think any show from HGTV that came to do a makeover would run screaming from this place. There’s just too much that can be done.

It appears that after the first couple of generations vacated the home, it was passed down into the hands of owners who were determined to “keep up with the times,” so we have wood paneling in one bedroom (70s), “popcorn ceilings” in both bedrooms (80s) and up until we moved in, scarred and scratched up hardwood floors in the main areas of the house and carpet in the bedrooms (90s). Thank God the last tenants soiled the carpets to the point where they were completely useless and we had the option of having the original floors re-sanded and finished.

Oh, and if you’re keeping tabs, the basement is from the 1910s. It is unchanged since the house was built. More on that in a bit.

Some of the bare bones have been preserved. All of of the original woodwork around the door frames and even the pocket doors are all still here and in working condition. They’ve been a bit marred over the decades, as people have hung curtains and stockings and the like. And no matter how much WD-40 we spray on the track of the pocket door to the guest room, it releases a piercing squeal which dogs within a five mile radius can hear. Even the other day when I was on the phone, I tried to quietly open the door and despite my efforts, the door screamed and it stopped the other person on the phone dead in his tracks while he was talking.

What’s good about the house is it’s in an area not too far from the law school where a certain Kevin attends but it’s not so close that we’re constantly dealing with parties and drunk students. Though one time, a very drunk girl did decide to pee in the street where we normally park our car. It was an incredibly New York-esque moment.

Sorry for that mental image.

Our landlords are not the best at keeping up on maintenance for the home. They have been generous in replacing a couple of very old appliances that were in dire need of going to the junkyard but when it comes to taking care of anything that requires actual fixing or repair? Ehhhhhhhhhh not their strong suit.

"Would you like me to explain?"

The foundation wall in the basement is crumbling, the windows are original to the house, the insulation is almost non-existent, the air ducts need a lot of work, it invites all sorts of critters into its nooks and crannies (spiders, ants, squirrels), the list goes on. I wish they would take the time to repair some of these things either in between tenants or one project per year, but they just let things be until it becomes dire and then they usually opt to just put a band-aid on it.

The scariest part of the home, in my opinion, is the basement. It’s not a typical basement. It could easily be one where a serial killer would store things (things being bodies). It has a dirt floor everywhere except for the concrete pad where the washer and dryer are. I had never seen a dirt floor in a basement before.

Insects of all kinds love to find their way in and set up shop because no one in his right mind would want to go down there. Since we have to for laundry purposes, poor Kevin goes down there a few times a week. He took one for the team and banned me from the basement after one too many times of hearing me shriek going downstairs and then complaining about how nasty it is. (I’m sorry, but when I’m standing at the washer and dryer, I don’t want to keep glancing over my shoulder and looking above me to make sure a wasp or tarantula from hell isn’t going to crawl on me.)

Plus, both ways of getting down there are treacherous. One is a rickety, steep set of stairs that has barely a railing to hold on to and you wonder if you’re going to face plant into the dirt when you head down there, and the other is a set of steps that goes down to the basement from the backyard, entering through a disgusting back door with bugs all over it down some crumbling, railing-less concrete steps. It was like Sophie’s Choice figuring out which was the “optimum” set of steps to use when we moved in.

We had to have a furnace repairman come out last year and I could tell he was creeped out having to go down into this veritable dungeon to get to the furnace. I didn’t blame him. I showed him the way and scooted back upstairs before I started having walking nightmares. Did I mention the smell? Yeah, it smells like musty basement x 50. When we run the air conditioning or heating, there’s always a faint basement smell that is released with the circulated air throughout the house. Jealous?

Which brings me to the true story here. One afternoon not too long ago, I walked into the house and was immediately affronted by a strong, moldy smell that had apparently sprouted in a single day. Kevin was already home and I began saying, “What is that SMELL? Don’t you SMELL that?”

Let me also point out that I have the olfactory senses of a bloodhound so things that aren’t really strong, Kevin won’t notice but I will and then I won’t rest until I find the source. And then of course things that are pungent drive me absolutely insane. This smell was more than pungent – it was thick and overpowering, like a chemical leak of some kind.

For me, this was a Smell Emergency but Kevin was able to remain calm and stoic. He thought perhaps it was the trash but it became clear that that wasn’t the source of this heinous, moldy, ammonia odor permeating our house. It was so bad that I thought we might have trouble breathing if we didn’t get rid of it and soon.

It only took me a few minutes of overreacting to state unequivocally that I would not be living in this house any longer if this is what we were going to have to put up with for two more years. After sniffing and sniffing and sniffing, we determined that the smell was strongest in the front area(s) of the house. Because it reeked so badly, I asked Kevin if he could go downstairs and see if there was anything unusual going on in the basement.

Obligingly, he went down to check it out and came running back up a minute later.

“It’s definitely the basement!” he panted. “There’s some kind of moldy crumbling stuff on the wall and floor across from the washer and dryer.”

At this point, I was officially freaking out and I declared that our house was trying to kill us. I mean, why else would we randomly have some moldy substance that had accumulated to the point where the SMELL was overpowering and emitting some chemical that could suffocate us in our sleep? I felt like we were being immersed into a smaller version of The Shining.

I became very demanding and told Kevin that if we couldn’t clean it up and the landlord didn’t take our request for its removal seriously, we were going to have to move. Since that is on Kevin’s Top Five Things He Hates Doing, he was very motivated to do what he could to remove the offender. He asked me to stay upstairs while he went back down with a shovel and some bleach.

A few minutes later he came running up the steps, gagging, trash bag in his hand, and said, “This is definitely what is causing the smell. Don’t come any closer unless you want to vomit.” Since I didn’t feel like barfing at the moment, I stayed away. He tied up the bag tightly and threw it out into our garbage bin. He informed me that he bleached the hell out of the area and that we should soon notice a decrease of Murderous Toxic Fumes.

In the meantime, we aired out the house but good and gave a test run of our air conditioning a little while later. Sure enough, though there were some faint fumes of bleach coming through, the moldy whatever-that-smell-was had gone.

I dubbed the incident as a home-icide attempt because I honestly believe our house wanted us dead. Or it was trying to say, “Hey douchebags, you have to MAINTAIN a home. See this? That just happened.” WE know we have to do preventative maintenance but our landlords do not give a fig for that. We ended up not telling them about the incident because I am certain they would not have done a thing, or at least in a timely manner. They are not uncaring people but when it comes to their rental properties, it’s mostly live and let live.

So we survived to tell the tale. This time. But considering we would like to avoid moving while Kev is in law school, it remains to be seen what else might happen. And if I know my basement, it’s probably got a few more tricks up its revolting sleeves.

The End

Filed Under: Humor, Occurrences Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Pilot Reviews: ‘Ringer,’ ‘Up All Night,’ ‘Free Agents’

September 15, 2011 6 Comments

Note: do not read this if you have these shows on DVR and don’t want to read about plot lines!

I normally don’t opine on entertainment, especially pilots for a new fall lineup. However, because I didn’t want to have to create yet another log-in to comment with my thoughts on the new NBC shows and Googling “free agents” doesn’t really get you anywhere, I decided to go ahead and create one long comment right here on the blog.

That’s what this thing is for, right?

First up, I’ll talk about Ringer with Sarah Michelle Gellar. I think Buffy fans everywhere have been ever so patiently waiting for SMG to return to television and have another smash hit show. I know I have. She’s even on The WB again! Except now it’s called The CW and it’s harder to remember. SMG is still as pretty as ever, though her voice sounds a little huskier. I think romance novel writers would describe it as a “whiskey voice.”

The premise of the show is that SMG will be playing twin sisters, one of whom is a recovering addict, seems down-to-earth, a little tired, and oh by the way, she witnessed a murder. She lives in Wyoming. This is the Bridget character. The other twin lives in NYC, lives the life of a spoiled, hardened “Real Housewife,” and has no personal relations with anyone. She is married with a stepdaughter, whom she apparently loathes, sleeps with her best friend’s husband, and is all evil and conniving. Her character’s name is Siobhan. The way you can tell the two apart is that Bridget wears her hair down and loose, while Siobhan prefers to wear her hair up in a nice, coiled bun (and has fancy pants designer clothing).

Bridget and Siobhan have been estranged for years but have agreed to meet in New York.  At their reunion meeting, Bridget tries to bring up the incident that occurred with her and her nephew, Siobhan’s son, but Siobhan dismisses the apology. We know there’s more to this but will have to wait for future episodes. The kid isn’t around, that’s for sure, and I suppose we can surmise that the incident is what is to blame for Siobhan’s hardened heart.

Fast forward to when Bridget thinks Siobhan is dead (supposedly suicide) and assumes her life, thinking it’d be easy peasy. We can all groan at this decision but of course, as she plays her sister for all of a few days, we come to find out the kind of life Siobhan leads, namely with lots of lies and fake smiles.

The pilot definitely sets the tone for lots of soap opera-ish drama, as we now have to try and figure out who Bridget is at any given moment – is she playing herself or playing her sister? People are after Bridget, who witnessed a murder, and people are after Siobhan because she screws people over. Plus, the people in Siobhan’s life who enjoy her cold character start questioning what’s up with her when she’s nice or even smiles at people. (Her husband and her boyfriend, to name two. It remains to be seen what the best friend sees in her.)

I adore SMG and I think if anyone can make this show interesting, it’s her. My only issue with the show, and it promises to have a new twist every week, is how long can it tug at this one plot line? It’s Good Twin vs. Evil Twin and it’s the inevitable waiting game to see who discovers the truth and when, and it wouldn’t be a good show if the characters didn’t cross any boundaries. For example, will Bridget acting as Siobhan fall in love with Siobhan’s husband? Will Siobhan come back into the picture or will she continue to try to destroy her twin from afar? (We learn at the end of the pilot that, of course, Siobhan isn’t really dead.)

I want the show to be a success if for no other reason than I love watching SMG in action; I just hope the plot threads won’t jump the shark too early on. (We love you, Sarah!)

—

Next, we have Up All Night, a new comedy (sans laugh track) with Christina Applegate and Will Arnett, who star as new parents to their sweet baby Amy. I couldn’t have been more excited about this new show because I have loved seeing Ms. Applegate in primetime but she hadn’t found anything that was making it long-term. Mr. Arnett’s appeal is obvious, especially for Arrested Development fans. I honestly think his voice and comedic delivery are what make him stand out so well. I wonder if he and Amy Poehler are just constantly laughing at their house, because the two of them are just so damn hilarious.

Maya Rudolph also stars in the show as Applegate’s boss at a production company. She’s the inconsiderate Friend Boss. More on her in a sec. Applegate’s Reagan goes to work while Arnett’s Chris (an attorney prior to baby) stays at home.

I loved and still love the preview for the pilot, which aired last evening. The laugh out loud moments are still there for me. The full episode is linked below. I’ll continue after the link.

http://www.nbc.com/up-all-night/

Welcome back. You laughed, right?

So for me, the funniest moments of the pilot were in the previews. There, I said it. There was one other side development going on in the pilot, and that was with Chris, where he’s developing a relationship over his gaming console with another stay-at-home dad and they talk through their headsets. I don’t know why this really tickled the funny bone but I hope they show more of that. That is definitely “keeping it real,” speaking as a woman who has an ex who played tons of video games.

I think the chemistry between Applegate and Arnett is really there and I love that the focus isn’t all about the baby. It’s about adapting to being parents and not necessarily leaving behind everything from their former lifestyle. The scene where they’re hungover and dealing with just-woken-up Amy was hysterical and probably my favorite bit.

Maya Rudolph’s character seems a bit shallow at this point. I didn’t laugh at anything she said or did, which flies in the face of most of the reviews I’ve read. I just wasn’t on board. I was just bored.

I like her a lot and she is a very talented comedic actress, but I felt like her boss character was just an amalgam of some of her SNL characters, so she came off as more goofball and annoying. I’d love to see more depth with the character and I hope the writers give her some good lines to deliver from her perspective of someone who doesn’t have children. As someone who doesn’t have children, I can relate to that. There is so much potential there for her to just “not get” what all goes into being a new parent. So writers, if you’re reading this, more of that please!

I really believe this show has the potential to be a big hit. One thing I want them to nix immediately is the cheesy instrumental music underlying a few of the scenes. Both Kevin and I noticed it and it really detracted from taking the show more seriously. It was way too Full House.

I’d probably give the pilot a grade of a B+ but it could easily move up to a solid A or A+ with more character develop and zingers. Zoe Recommends watching this show!

—

Last but not least, we have Free Agents, starring Hank Azaria as Alex and Kathryn Hahn as Helen, who have a working-sleep-together relationship as coworkers at a PR firm. They’re each getting over a previous relationship – one by divorce and one by death. I had the preview listed below but naturally, NBC yanked it shortly after, so you’ll have to watch an episode from the link:

http://www.nbc.com/free-agents/

In my opinion, the pilot was funny throughout and it expanded on the released preview. Though I was ready to see the familiar jokes in the pilot, having been watching the promos in anticipation for a few weeks, they still made me (and Kevin) laugh.

Three standout moments for me: the safe word, the Executive Assistant character Emma Parker (portrayed by Natasha Leggero), who has sass coming out of her pores, delivering her line of, “You do get EXECUTIVE Assistant, right? Not personal, not for your personal problems” with biting panache, and Azaria’s line, “Because I have no plans to DJ at an Armenian gangster’s acquittal party.” If the writers and actors keep that up, they will have a loyal fan until the end of this show.

The fact that Anthony Stewart Head (who played Giles on Buffy!) plays the boss adds an even stronger likelihood that this show can stick out the first few ordered episodes. When in doubt, add an experienced British actor to your program.

From what I was reading, a lot of people didn’t find this show funny but if I’m being honest, I thought Free Agents‘ pilot was funnier than the Up All Night pilot. I believe they do well being placed back to back, at least in the beginning. I am sure the execs over at NBC will move one or both when they develop.

Azaria’s character Alex has some growing to do but he plays up the self-deprecation bit really well. Hahn’s Helen brings some excellent line delivery and she’s not as acerbic as I thought she’d be, as someone who is grieving over a deceased fiance and sleeping with an always-crying Alex. The bit about her excessive wine consumption was very good; I just hope the writers will give her more to do than that when we see her doing scenes alone.

So can I recommend watching this one? I surely can. It gets the Zoe Recommends stamp of approval. If I were to grade it, I’d also give it a B+. I will continue to record the episodes for sure.

Like with anything, I think we as the viewers need to familiarize ourselves with the developing characters and let things simmer a bit. There is plenty of room for development in both sitcoms (or are they dramadies?) and even Ringer. If you think it has to be a hit right out of the box, just go back and watch the pilot of Friends. That is one of my all-time favorite shows but the characters we grew to love like family were definitely not present in the very first episode.

Did you watch any of these shows? If not, do you think you will now?

Update: October 18, 2011 I have learned that Free Agents was cancelled after a mere four episodes aired. I was actually really upset because I found it to be really hilarious and wanted to see where it would go. I’m also hoping that the actress who played Emma, the snarky Exec Assistant, will find herself another similar role so we can witness more of that. Ugh, it’s seriously depressing.

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