Her: I just got a whiff of B.O. but nobody walked by, so now I’m paranoid that it’s me.
Her: I smelled all around myself and I don’t smell anything. But then, you smell people on the subway, like some guy who sits down next to you, and he seems to have absolutely zero idea that he smells as badly as he does. And you think, “How can someone be so oblivious of his own smell?”
Me: Yeah, I definitely know when it’s me.
Me: I love how onions are reminiscent of B.O.
Her: Right? It’s such a weird smell, to have a food smell like body odor.
Me: I guess it’s all about man blending with nature. “Onions? Or…B.O.?” Ha! Great title for a post.
So I created this draft with the title with nothing in the body but a note that said, “Can this really be a post?”
Upon getting my Google on, I discovered this awesome article about body odor, men and women. So it really is women who smell like onions when they’re super funky, as opposed to cheese in men. I’m sorry but I think cheese is the more offensive character here. I don’t want to smell a man who reeks of onions, either. Or garlic. Or cumin.
Incidentally, my friend and I had proceeded to have a conversation about men’s underarm smell and how it can actually be quite sexy. Along those same lines, each of our boyfriends thinks it’s strange or gross that we think this. Apparently we’re just fitting right on in with God’s Great Plan, though, because it’s totally a pheromone thing designed to keep the genetics mixed up. Nice work, God.
When I showed my same friend the article, she had this to say: “Who would have thought that me connecting the onions in my garbage to the smell of B.O. that kept coming in waves while sitting at my desk was actually based in fact? Even though it was a fact I didn’t know existed?”
Deep stuff, right?
Author’s note: I have tried Crystal Deodorant and it actually really does work to neutralize one’s natural smell, i.e. onions and cheese. But since it is not an antiperspirant you still sweat like the devil. Unless you plan on wearing dark shirts all the time in the summer or don’t care about pit stains, it’s a try-it-at-your-own-risk product.